


Here, with me

by misbehavin



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Iris West, Hurt/Comfort, Married Barry Allen/Iris West, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 00:49:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16398260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misbehavin/pseuds/misbehavin
Summary: Iris struggles with the possibility of what the future might be like.





	Here, with me

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on tumblr talked about how Iris is everyone’s rock and about how she must be feeling re: Nora and Barry being missing for so long, and it made me feel things so here we are. Ugh, when will my girl get a break!!!

 

In the safety of her home, Iris lets it all out. Eventually, the sobs subside, but the ache inside her chest remains the same. She’s good at holding herself together, especially now she has the team to take care of as well, but all the hurt from hers and Barry’s life added up and catched up to her, and now it feels like its weight became impossibly harder to deal with.

Nora being here, for instance. Instead of the promise of a long, happy life and family with Barry, like she hoped, her future daughter’s presence actually brings along the possibility of more pain. Barry can disappear soon, again, _forever_ , and Nora can barely stand to stay alone in the same room as her, which can mean they don’t get along.

Iris' mind spins with all the alternatives of what the future could be. She’ll fight with everything she has to make sure things turn out okay, but she somehow still feels a bit helpless. She was a mess during the months without Barry. What would she look like if she spent a whole life without him by her side?

She takes a deep breath, fails at holding back her tears. How is any of this fair?

 

 

“Iris?” Barry calls out from the living room once he gets home.

“In the bedroom!”

It's only then she realizes she lost track of time wallowing. She wipes away the tears the best she can, breathes in and out in an attempt to calm down. Barry needs her to be strong. No matter how difficult it turns out to be.

“Hey,” Barry says, changing into sleep-wear in a woosh. He places a kiss on her cheek then lays down beside her.

“Hey,” says Iris. She pushes her face further into the pillow, wishing she could will away their problems.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired. Had a long day.”

Barry wraps his arm around her and sighs. “Iris, I know you. I can tell something is up. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing, Bear.”

“Is it about what Nora said?”

Iris stiffens.

“Hey, look at me,” says Barry, getting closer until their foreheads are touching. “You’re my wife and my best friend. If you can’t talk to me about how you’re feeling, what good am I?”

Iris squeezes him. “Don’t say that.”

“Then talk to me. I mean, you don’t have to, but I’ll listen. I’m here for you.”

Such simple words and she’s back to crying, quietly this time. Barry rubs her back, her shoulders. They stay like that for a little while, and it’s only when it’s clear that he won’t pry answers from her that she decides to open up.  “I can’t lose you.”

“You won’t.”

She swallows. “God, Barry, I don’t think I can do this again.”

“You _won’t_. I swear.”

“You don’t know what I’m like without you. Nora,  she--”

“What about her?”

“I think she doesn’t like me. Like, at all.”

“What?” He furrows his brows,  “Of course she likes you. How could she not like you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m a bad mother, in the future,” she rushes. Saying it out loud doesn’t make her feel better. If anything, it makes it sound more likely.

“Iris…” 

“How else could you explain her attitude towards me? She won’t even spend like, a full hour with me, Barry. What if you disappearing, what if it’s somehow my fault? What if I’m the reason Nora grows up without a father and I’m not good enough to look after her and she hates my guts--”

“Hey, hey. No.” Barry touches her cheek, holds her face, always so gentle, like only he is. Iris breathes out, relaxing into his arms as he continues,  “First, that’s not going to happen. I’m not going anywhere. And I’m sure there’s a plausible reason as to why Nora’s acting the way she is. Because you’re not gonna be a bad mother, alright? You’ll be the best. You’re so kind, and caring, and fierce, and so strong. You’re so strong all the time, Iris, and I admire you so much.”

“Not strong enough,” she mutters.

“You are!” protests Barry. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. But you’re still human. Look, it’s okay that you’re scared. Honestly, I am too, but we’ve been through so many things, we can get through this. I know it.”

“I know,” she sighs, nodding. “I know that. I'm sorry.”

“Don’t be. I love you. I’m not leaving.”

“Yeah?”

“Hm-hmm. Trust me, the only thing we probably can’t survive is your pancakes.”

She lets out a teary laugh. “They weren’t that bad.”

“Uh huh,  if you say so.”

“Oh my god Barry, that was _one_ time!”

He smiles at her, beautiful and bright, like sunlight. His lips are welcoming when Iris pulls him into a kiss,  and his face when she reminds him of how much she loves him is as lovely as the first time she said it. It disarms him to the point of utter surrender, and Iris grins at the sight. His eyes are closed, but he looks as vulnerable as she feels.

“I love you,” she repeats, just because  sometimes it doesn’t seem like the message got through his thick skull. She runs her fingers through his hair, waits until he blinks his eyes open and they're locked with hers again. She's stopped crying by now, finally, which is a relief. Unscheduled break-downs are the worst. 

“Bear, I want-- I think I need to feel you closer.”

He gives her a confused look because they’ve been wrapped around each other for like, twenty minutes, but then it clicks. “Oh. _Oh_.”

“It’s just, I miss you, and with everything--”

“Yeah, I get it.” He rubs her arm up and down, presses his mouth against hers softly. 

Iris kisses him back, licks his bottom lip, says nothing as they get undressed. Something about the way Barry touches her implies that maybe he needs a reassurance too. He nibbles at her neck, licks and sucks each of her nipples just to tease, traces a path of kisses down her belly. His breath is ragged and Iris hasn’t even done anything to him.

Against her hip, Barry says, “I’ll go slow, is that okay?”

Iris nods, gasping when his tongue curls inside her. It’s great that he can vibrate any part of his body thanks to his powers, but he's amazing and makes her quiver regardless. He uses her moans to guide him, and his thumb circles over her clit with the perfect pressure.

Before she catches her breath after she comes, he’s right there, kissing her mouth again, like he never tires of it. She tugs his hair and a soft moan escapes his lips.

“Fuck,” she curses. Barry’s needy sounds always take her off-guard. “C’mon, baby.”

He thrusts into her slowly, as promised, lifting and holding her body as close to his as possible. While he moans her name, Iris touches his chest, his face, holds onto his arms. He’s the love of her life and he’s not going anywhere she can’t follow.

“Yeah, I'm right here,” he whispers. “Not going anywhere.”

She nods vehemently, her own heartbeat loud enough he definitely can hear it. “Barry. Faster.”

Barry shakes his head. “Not yet.”

“Barry, _please_.”

He continues with the same pace for a bit, then gradually increases speed.

“You’re gonna come again for me?” he asks, vibrating thumb on her clit again.

Iris' voice breaks, and not long later, Barry climaxes too.

  


“Feel any better?” Barry asks, a few minutes afterwards. “Not that sex would fix things, but, y’know.”

“Endorphins.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“I _do_ feel better, yes.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Better enough to have some pancakes?” 

Iris grins. “You ate me out and you’re still hungry?”

Barry blushes a deeper shade of pink, rolls his eyes. “Let's just go to the kitchen.” He carries her there in a flash, and as he cooks, Iris thinks about their odds, about how they always find a way.

 _Not going anywhere,_ he said _._

She inhales the smell of pancakes, hangs onto his words. Reminds herself the future is yet to be written.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
